


One Week

by theauthor2010



Category: Glee
Genre: Gen, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-06-29
Updated: 2011-06-29
Packaged: 2017-10-20 20:46:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 676
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/216940
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theauthor2010/pseuds/theauthor2010
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set during 2x11. Ficlet. Glee saved Dave Karofsky's life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	One Week

Sunday evening was the first time that Dave took a look at the gun. He waited until his father was down in his study and his mother was out at his aunt’s house and went to the cabinet where his father kept the gun. He picked it up, just testing the weight of the unloaded pistol in his hands. His father kept the bullets right in the same container as the gun. It would be so easy to load the pistol, point it at his head and – bam – nothing. There would be no more pain, no more hating himself because of what a fag he was. He would no longer be burdened by the secret that was threatening to spill out of him. There would no longer be Dave Karofsky.

Of course, he was chicken shit, as well as being a fag. It figured. He put the gun back in its case, so delicately that his father would never know it was misplaced.

On Monday, things were just the same. He slushied the glee losers and felt absolutely nothing. He played football. Hudson made a comment about his suspicious homophobia and gay behavior, which sent him into a paralyzing panic. He wanted to die. He would do it that night. He would take the gun, stick it in his mouth and end the madness.

Then, Coach Beiste made the football players join glee. At first, it only fueled the anger in Dave because glee meant more reminders of Hummel and the way he led Dave out of the safe place he was in. It reminded him of the moment of weakness where all of his repressed desire and emotion leaked through and he pressed his lips to that boy’s.

Then, it felt good.

Nothing felt as good as Mr. Schuester telling Dave that he was good at singing and dancing, all the glee stuff. How long had it really been since even his own parents had told him that he was good at something? In junior high, his dad used to praise him because of his good grades or his athletic ability, but that seemed to fade off in high school. Now, everything that came out of his father’s mouth was negative.

His grades weren’t where they used to be. He did something wrong on the football field. Why did he quit the hockey team?

For an adult male to say, “good job,” was one of the best feelings in the world.

Then there was the actual singing and dancing. Dave had never tried either before but found that he enjoyed them immensely. There was something about singing, even if it was singing backup vocals for Hudson and the other glee kids, something that was really empowering and made him forget about the things that were causing him so much strife. He didn’t care about being gay, for an hour or two each day. Also, he was surprisingly pretty good at dancing. He had always assumed that he would be a big oaf because of his size, but he flowed with the music pretty well. It was perfect.

When Finn offered to let him join the glee club permanently, if he apologized to Kurt, his mind was screaming yes, but he said no.

He couldn’t.

He couldn’t handle it, but he wished he could thank Finn for saving his life.

Saturday night, Dave looked at his father’s gun one more time. He carefully took it out of the casing and turned it around in his hands. He was still scared to death of his sexuality being projected to everyone. He still felt useless and afraid but he wasn’t going to do it, not yet.

His father walked in and saw him looking at the gun. “I haven’t taken out that thing in months,” Paul Karofsky said, completely unaware of his son’s earlier intentions. “It was my father's. I'm damned proud of that piece. What are you up to?”

“Can we talk for a few minutes?” Dave asked quietly.

"Of course."

Maybe glee was good for something.


End file.
